SO FUCKING writing progress update!!
its officvslly the second day of pride4 mponth and im more motivated then ever to fginish my fucking revsions espically now ive gotten into my new dresam school upsate (suny new uptlz) finally getting out of thius fucking city, and havbe a new appriction to say fuck it and apfonpish my dreams this summer and havbe the time of my life beofre I leave it all; behgind,
So unlike ages ago aka a week this week ive been motivated as hell to FINISH MY REVSIONs
all of em, evry last one
espcially becyaxe yetserday my dad agreed to the sumemr weekand group workshop amy recomded both of em (bata readers) with writers rock more on that in the future I even stopped by my olkd writopia headwuanters today to ask about it, felt like an oldman coming by hgis old campgrounds to see all ths new kids still going there, a bit out of place but hella nistglic too it was worth a shit to ask iuf they could give me the workshgop info beofre amy becyase she wasnt to upfront and Ive never been too awrre of how much extacly writopia nd writers rtock talk on worjshoprs like this.
Anyway, bacxk rto me!! after weeks of miseirble progrstnation and putting shit off like usual
all my bveing inspired by other short stories and side projects
things finally going well in my life regarding my suny new palzt tour and my future actully looking upf or the first timne in ages, my writing improving and other such hopfull events' pepole crying out for orgnial writing and voices more and more
Spurred me on
to finish my revsions if not by the end of mnay then by the end of june
with a new found exitement for lying flatt itself, as id been searching for
so i thought and i planned and I in an applestore lobby
I finally worte the fucking ROXY PUNKS SCENE ID BEEN MAULING OVER FOR WEEKS
so proud of myself I had to celbrate with seeing Furosia in theatres witch was so punk rock I was on a fucking roll
but you may be aslking yourself why the fuck eli, or truly I was simion in that momment, why where you lioiring in the apple store on 59th streeet, using their prestine mackbooks for sale, to wriute your book, when thats not NOT ALLOWED but also, very getto and cheap behgavoir and you should defibnftly not do that againb if you can hellp it
but why do it at all? Why not use your own computer?
well dispite the fact thats its a city collage computyer and I already have it past due/(anmd nopw thats im going to suny new paltz, I have to give it backj at the end of the summer anyway and delete all my vauble vedios, dotuments, lwed AI fanifictions, porn history all i have on therre and its own grease damage befor3e I do so they dont change me extera or invegstate me alltogether for some of my writings) besides,I am ovcerdue to get a new one/fix my applecomputer/bring it into the guniss bar to bypass my forgttoien passowrd repaiur its grease dmage is another story alltoger.
For weeks now I was having alot, no TOO MUCh touble writing lying flatt on my computer for weeks, possibly monsth now I only noticed it this week becuyase it became in-ignorbalke becyuasew the document simp;y wpoldnt load for more then a secodna a time, making any writing impossible dispite how motivated I was witch would have made staying motvtaed EVEN harder tehn it already was becyase then I had the built in, technchgagual diffucities exuse
but this week i deicided to do som,thing about it
I noticed my lying flatt google doc wasnt loading or letting me write on it AGAIN i WAS LIKE ENOUGH DAYS AFTERR THE APPLE STORE WAS THE ONLLY DAY IN WEEKS ID GOTTEN A WHOLE SCENE/THE MOST WRITING ID GOTTEN OF MY REVSIONS AT ALL WITCH IS SO FUCKING SAD TO ADMIT
i REPEAT
i HAD BEEN LYING AND STRUGGLING SO MUCH WITH DISTRACTIONS, DELIONS, IMPOSTER SYENDROME, SELF DOUBT, DISGRONNZATION, LACK OF IMNDENEITE SOPPORT AND HELP, ADHD, CRIPPLING PROCRASNATION, ABVSYSMNALK TIME MANAGMENT AND EVRTHING ELSE
THAT SINCE AMYS WORKSHOPS ENDED AT THE END OF APAIRAL
WHEN I WASA IN AN APPLE STORE WAS WHEN GOT THE MOST WORK DONE,
THGAT WAS THE ONLY TIME I COMLETED A SCENE, OF OUR REVISONS
A FUCKING APPLE STORE
AND THAT WHOLKE TIME MY COMPUTER WAS HAVING TECHNDICAL DIFFUCTIES AND i DID NOTHING ABOUT IT i JUST LET IT EFFECT MY PRODYUCTIVITY AND CRY ABOUT IT ACT LIKE IT WAS JUST LIFE HATIG ME EVRTHING UNDER THE SUN TO PREVENT ME FROM FINISHING THIS BOOK THAT COULD HAPPEN, WOULD HAPPEN
bUT NO
So today I thought fine no applke store
i;; do what they used to do, when the poor writings couldnt afford type writers or get any peace and wquiet at the boarding houses, I'll go to the public libabery
witch I what I did but alas
they were all closed dispite the fact I tripple checked if they were onliune it said no
they were still cosed
sunday the lords day libary is closed
so I was so frustratd I thought fine
maybe today wilkl be the day I will buy a keyboard for my ipdad
Il;l finally do that, use my ipdad as a computer maybe I wont have thge same issues
I had sme moneyu I chedked discount prices, wento to stapples they didnt have anyt fucking jkeyboards dispite their websiate saying they were in stock\
I even asked the stapples guy behind the counter if they had any cheap laptops for sale, what was the chepaest he had on stock, he siad it was 346 dollars with tax obvsiouly outside my rpice range a local dad said it was the perfect range /processing power to write bookjs but somehow I feared a compujter that weak would have the same issue becuae I didnt r4elize what the issue was
I wasnt having loading speed issues with my computer with any othe google documents even long ones like my book,and if i was somtimes never this bad or constint, all other palications from
thed youtube vedios I were edting on filmora, to the many tabs id have open at once on many huigh poiwer websites my computr was pleaty powerfull to run just fine so i knew it wasnt my computer
was it the document itself I had to fine out i dicided I would find out tomaorrow
Lucien and I were going to have a grand old day to relax pepole watch and celbrate in wehasuion sqare park since my qest to write my book and slve the techoincal diffucitries with my computer/google docs seemed like they would have to wait tiklk another day
till on our walk to wahsion sq only an hour ago aftr havbing giving up our misson, it beingh pride month now we thought why not pop in the LGBT center dpwmyopwn the opne on 13th street. see hwat fun gay things are going on
your gay, pan, its pride in a great mood why not stop in evryone was in their best sexy summer where no events, but it was a great vibe, Jett, your christain ex and any sour memories arround thuis place and your brief brush with teh youth center didnt even cross your mind for onbcem a wobnderful change of pace
But, best of all when you stepped in teh doors of the lgbt center ytou were reminded the libar and teh apple store aren he only places in the cuty that alllow free, unlimited computer acesss!
of course how could you foregt the computer cafe!!!
You rarely come here you I guess you did, you quckly grabbd a passowrd, a laptop and got to work signing into google docs to prove your hypothisis once a for all.
Is it an issue with my computer or is lying flatt so long is having trouble loading on...all computers now????
you searchged for your spot and suddenly it happened again
The same shit happened again!!!!
What the fuck!! on some random computer at the lgbt center ok now I know somthing is up!!
So my solution, Lucien came up with it\
thease days im not in the bussniss of melocncy or meissy its inetibly and depression and anxiorty about the future are part of my charchter, must weave through tehir inetible pressnece in my life more gracufl simple find, be arround peple who are more compassonite, and pastient instead of bemoing the lack of kind pepeole knowing the world is the way it is, but doing nothing to seek out better freinds and lovers despite much time alone, ababdonded, unloved and longing for such comunityt
I* am in 6the busniss not of suffering my problems
knowing the ones I cant fix, I have been given awfu7l probvems to in th epast, to heal and get better slutiipons now
the bussniss of being proatcive and finding solytiuons not waiting for others to do so for me.
Sounds obvopous but when you have alot of probelms the world doesnt belive exisits or just you relize the world is, not really made for you and you dont really perfetr want to live in its masses but its margins anyway thats where the intresting pep0ole are
but alas, coming up with solutions can be overwelig wgen you dont have any comunity or real help
or reasorses or money you dont even know there is siliutions for many thjings
being an athor with no neposim, no help for the industry, evrthinfg against you
'time, many learning disbklities (ADHD, austsum, dsytemxia but you still are dterimed against all odds to finish and publish your book) for you doinfg so at this point is your rublicon its your impossible feat, its thje biggest deal inthe world no one understands how hard it is for you but thats ok
So slution the senes neccariry no more letting time slip away watrching tyoutuibe and feeling guulity
Write the scnees seprarlity
and copy and paste them into the aproroite spots
makle sure it doesnt seem or feel, out of place...
So, a silution to this probelm is,
Im gonna fucking write all the scenes I need to sepratly (In seprate google docs and then copy and paste them in the right spots) fuck the not loading, google doc, slow pc mac bullshit i aint waiting arround for this shit. Im ceatching up on the scenes got to make a writing sceduele to get myself back in the fucking zone, to keep myself sharp my writing sharp beucase i cant feel my crafvt and stuff grttong stale and I dont want that
Thats my plan though
for the first half of MAY:
1. Step one write the scenes in seprate documents
copy and paste them in (all scenes in revsions checklist scesns to add you havent added yet, write them all seprately) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dn2DqVzO6WucJRMTIZ6elOiSBMugfbJZ5-3alX86_kI/edit
(Second half of may)
2. Go in to all amy's comments she left and fix them, delete shorten all scenes you havent yet.
from revsions doc) In writers rock workshps every sunday make sure eevry new scene is comming across funny and how it shpould for the charchter and overall story arc, keep track of page numbers add before and after scenes (keep all new scnes short) make sure to start full timeline now for wall and powerpoint to keep track of full polt/charchter arc now to keep track of the full ttrolgy timeline of events
3. Go thr
