Lying Flatt: My Novel Blog : 03/19/24

Official Writer’s Rock Revion checklist (things to change in lying flatt before workshops ends in june/july to make it the final/best draft of developmental draft)

Lying Flatt : Writers Rock /With Amy

Revisions Check list.

Personal goal: have all thease revisions and workshops /feedback/final Developmental edit done by June /July before hiring a copy editor for spelling /full proof

Goal: under 400 pages

Writer’s Rock Revision Check List:

Things, Scenes to (maybe) cut/ Shorten, re-arrange:

In all of above, follow Amy’s comments and check off stuff you’ve already changed, check off regions as you do them/as workshops happen to keep track of true progress:

Feedback from writers rock workshop on 2/15/24 to rewrite/re order the battle of the bands climax sequence:

New Order of events for battele of the bands:

1. Get to battle of the bands, /set the scene with all the bands backstage /Trent punches Rasist band (Tren punches Rasist band), montage of the first few bands to make fun of them.

2. Lester tries to find Rubin in his dressing room to wish him good luck and ask him what song he's gonna preform, but he can't an

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d it's made clear everyone assumes he's gonna win Trent remains him to watch out, hopes he didn't do what he thinks he did.

3.Second to Last performance of the night is now Rubin instead of Lester, switch them: Focus everything on building up Rubin's big beyrayl, /build up to it a lot, that everyone epxetcs him to win but rumors are he’s preforming something new’ then of course he preforms Dirty Harry in a leather outfit indietical to Lesters looking better then him, sexier and Lester is fully heartbroken.

5. Delete Eartthwrom lying scene/move that to after chili peppers concert.

6. Lester Preforms Heartbrek Blues to Get back at Rubin (re write it without the revenge conext) it sucks, they get booed off stage)

4. .Lester is sad, cut out alot of inner monouge/extra talking inebtween that deflates pacing.

5.Re write post. Band melt down/PTSD episode extstinal crisis he has in kevins car on the way home. That Trent was right he was brettryaed by the one guy he loved/trusted, and rubin one/beat him by lying and cheating his way to the top…clearly the only way to make it in this world, and being himself is clearly not an option anymore that’s the moment he “Kills Lester Flatt” and becomes the alter ego, Mack Lasher, beyond the stage persona in his own mind.

Scenes to shorten for a succinct plot/better comedy:

First and Last on Flat Earther Hill scene (Cut Down, make kevin less cheesy, make him only give one gift, flag not song, save song for book two after death)
Car ride to Chili Pepper concert /(Shorten scenes with Kevin talking, make him less overly sopprotive, /shorten hippie scene but keep, focus more on how exited they are to see flea, limit hangover talk to one line at the beginning, to keep momentum they are trying to make the conert on time.) Delete vip ticket talk have lester say he’s gonna sneak in to meet flea, no matter what.
Chili peppers concert : Focous more on how exited lester is to actually see Flea, have a come to god flea moment. Dont have them talk during the conert itself, delete scene from earlier draft during conert, dispribe the music, the feeling, the atul chili songs, flea’s look an fans at the time.
After the concert: Have Lester sneak past security backstage to meet Flea right when there about to leave, and right when the suciurty is about to throw him out, he sees’s Flea spew all his knowledge about Flea, and lovebombs him, and impresses him so much with his knolahge of the band so much they let him go, without a charge, instead tehy give him a job…as a roadie if he wants it witch Lester is over the moon about. // Move earthworms big lie scene from battel of the bands climax to here, after they leave the concert, that's where mack lasher is truly born because he is already convinced by trubin its the only way /tells Flea that's his name.
Some of Lester’s internal rants (cut alot of them)
Last Goodbye Scene at Camelot Records (cut some of the goth kids talking, intrudocue them earlier)
The all Post rehearsal where the band is just shooting the shit/t
Cafeteria Scene where you meet Trent/their frist fight (meet some of his goth friends too)
Miss Mumphrey guidance counselor Scene.(cut down alot)
mom/dad eavesdropping through the door(many mom dad abuse scenes)
Rubin and Lester’s frist sex scene in boys bathroom(cut in half)
Lester trying on Kevin’s Leather jacket for the first time
Lester’s first band rehearsal
Caride to the battle of the bands
Scene in Prinpcals office

Scenes/Plotlines to outright cut/delete entirely:

Some jokes/pointless Humor scenes we will see…
Scene in battle of the band’s where Rubin Beat’s up Lester in the stairwell.
All scenes/illistration of Lester talking about making Sex tapes of hm and rubin togeher (during their sex scene, before and after)
Any and all Mention of Aids (to highlight their ignoring of it, stigmtazion of it, outside of Kevin warning Lester in his own come to conscious moment but…make that moment different (Play up Lester’s ignorance about Aids/sex more for laughs to come back in book two-orgygate, or Just Cut the scene any mention of Aids all together, Kevin is still torn internally conficted but more abut not defending Lester when his dad beats them and for abounding the band to go to collage, not…Aids. Even though he’s the smart, one he’s still essntally just a sweet joke with a heart of gold, him packing over this really only made scene to stoke fear in lester about the rubin arc because of the other rumor’s Rubin didnt care if he spread aids in the past. But now im cutting all of that. Replace Kevin freaking out about aids with him, confessing he’s sorry, reavling to us the reader just how much Lester is downplaying his abuse and how much Kevin has to be complict, and maybe revealing some kind of enforcement of the church stil holding onto his relgious indity, “begging lester for forgivniss” Just a cover to show how much pressure Kevin’s under…first time he cracks, (though this scene might not make a ton of scence, tonally…)-on the fence about weather to keep the aids, scene or replace it with another scene of Kevin breaking down under the pressure especially regarding his guilt over things regarding Lester, because…it might be needed might not, I will have to see.

Scenes/plotlines to Add:

A sweet scene of Lester and Roxy in her bedroom who is a true punk herself, trying to introduce him to some good music, that’s more his speed and basically about their bond, who tells him he’s doing everything right, and should keep making music and being ecstasy who he is and there's people in the city who will love him, for it.

Establishing scene at Camelot Records after his first day being kicked arround at School he and Kevin go to Camlot, the next day after their first band rehearsal goes…ok and try to convince everyone why the chili peppers are great/to take them seriously also why Lesters new band is, showing no one at Camlot takes him seriously either.
Try outs for battle of the bands so everyone including Rubin can see their act in its new stage, after previously underestimating them and now be…this is weird and a lil gay, but danm their good and we need to watch out.
More scenes of them performing Locally with frosty, and recording their first lil classic rock album Full Spread showing why they were so mocked, loved but not loved in Jearsy.???
Add more scenes in the middle of Lester falling in love with rubin, being super obvious one sided about it.

NEW ILLISTRATION checklist:

Since making sevral pivtoal updates, in the draft 8 outline for my most reccent draft, I have realized sevral of my orginal illsuirtaions need be taken out and new ones need to be Added:

Illistations I want to remove:

1. Both Drawings during red hot chili peppers conceprt, of Lester and Kevin fighting over the "revenge sex tape plot" in Kevin's atempt to convince him otheriwse.

2. rubin wins battle of the bands (but this time it's for stealings Lester's song and outfits so I gotta draw him in leather, draw Lester in the audince shocked/heartbroken at the reveal)

Drawings/other scnens I want to add:

2. Drawing of their band trying out for the battle of the bands

3. Lester at CBGS for the first time right after leaving trash and vaudvile –seeing Made up punk band to be one of their many enemies in book two, “Gods Bastards” who were playing a show that changed his life, but also remembering what roxy had said, he didnt have to be just one thing, /realizing the scene isnt what he thought it was, and he decided it would be his destiny to shake it up a bit, a lot.(Scene/montage style where he talks to some people at the bar, talking about all the ways their band could be improved, one thing lead to another, (romance, deboichory) he gets in a fight with the lead singers, friend, while also convincing like three people who were already fed up to quit the band, who were now fans of Lester who just seemd mysterious and like he knew some shit about the future coming and evrthing he said about him was true, about Punks, and new wave, and straight and gay just keeping us in boxes so they can keep us divided everyone gakeeping is doing their work for them or something paroting Roxy’s words, so the lead singer especially who actually does suck ass, Dimond White, he made Enimies with “Mack Lasher” that night and sowar he’d be back for revenge. (book two tease)

5. Lester dreaming of being Mack Lasher. alot.

6. Lester just crushing on Rubin at school, having posters of him in his locker, talking about him to Kevin, making eyes at him, in denial of his popularity how much rubin ignores him/is a douch when their in class/in public, comparing the two of them two famous rock n roll couples and rock stars he thinks are a couple…(funny rant)

8. The whole band together for the last time, Saying Goodbye at Camlot Records.

9. Lester in his room alone, fantasing about Flea. (posters on his wall, listning to RHCP)

10. Lester at Trash and Vaudeville for the first time.

10. Lester descivoering Leather esthetic on the toleiot for the first time.

11. New COver art

12. New album art?

13. so many more drawing of the character outfits.