Today I had my most recent writers Rock Workshop with amy at 4pm on zoom. It was great, and prodcutive, as ussual. She finally read in full my battle of the bands, climax in order with all the battle of the bands revions and notes we have been adding, and working towards it for the past few workshops, with the new rubin rewrite, moving all the scenes arround and evrthing either way, the battle of the bands climax that evrthing has been bulding up to, still isnt done I still have to add the last two NEW scenes at the end (the rubin winning the grand prize reveal, the band gets dumb drunk and fights becuase they lost the battle lost it all and are now screwed and mad at eachother, espcially Lester, and the final lester/kevin ptsd breakdown scene in Kevins car( and I have to trim some fluuf sligouge scenes for pacing at the end)but other then that im done, evrthing on this small checklist is all I have to do in the battle of the bands scene now (I thought I'd be done by now but what are you gonna do, I will for sure be done with the full battle of the bands climazx though by my next workshop with amy, next week on Aprial 12th 3pm) Look I only have two more scenes left to rewrite/add and a few short things left to cut and thease are, very short honestly.
I cant belive it, I thought I'd never be done, But after I write those last scenes I'll finally done with the battle of the bands climax im gonna run it through AI Voice Generator & Text to Speech | ElevenLabs listen back to it all in order to see if it flows, being read all through, but yeah, after I write those last through scenes witch I intend too this week, I should be done.
I want that last ptsd break down scene with Kevin and Lester to be good espica;lly I want to take my time with it espcially since my writing quity has greatly improved since last time, Its the charchters low point and is necciciary for such things...its neccary for Kevin to for once not give him a pep talk, and simply, listen, for lester to be so broken hearted so drunk and done with it all, for him to simply demand as he tries to fix things with advice that he just listen, and swhen he does Lester just comes out with it ,how if Rubin doesnt love him, if no one likes his rock music, if no one likes him, if no one loves him, he should just Kill Himself.
Updated rivsions to add in most recent writiters rock workshop 4/3/24
List of other spiffic things amy wanted me to fix that I will add to my rivisons checklist/re print out:
1. Make Lester get famous on Tik Tok, BECUASE of Herb Beans viral vedio about him not the oyther way arround, delete any mention of Tik Tok before Herb's vedio goes viral and his frejnd Mina menions his vedio is the reason it went viral on tik tok at teh end of the prolouge.
2. Claifity the pipe/toluit macanics (exacilcty how the flood happens) re inert pdf of Rubins note:
3. Make Lester's mirrior rambling into a song
5. change mgazine he' finxd leathr in from rolling stole to gay porn mag (name, Drummer, Men, or Blueboy)
4. Make first scene of hitchking to new york, a bigger/longer ordeal. Make him lie to hitchkiker, focus more on the fear, make the hitchkiler a wirdio elborte on the seedy fear of the sitaion the first time he truly sets out of his suberban bubble, as he tries to hide his inexperince.
5. Add one more line/moment where Lester' reconisters spendng all their money on the leatehr but then does it anyway, -
6. Right after trash and vaduile -make full CBGS scene with fictional band, his introduction to the club as set up for when he becomes known for "headlining" in book two, make it funny and bausrd fill it with familar charchters.
10. Show Bad Descions trying out for battle of the bands.
7. Add the following scenes before, bad descions even is forced to go out for battle of the bands due to lack of sucess/creative frsutation/compation with rubin in the local scene and Uncle frosty heading back out west, make a bit more scenes to show what's really going on with the band:
