So im writing this a little/a lot late
four days ago on the fourth of march at 2pm I just had my workshop a few days ago, and it was awesome, honestly
I showed AMY the revsioned I'd written for the previous Month,
(Some of witch are still in progress.)
1. The revised sex scene between him and Rubin
2. The new battle of the bands scene where Rubin preforms Dirty Harry but its lesters stolen lyrics and leather style and thats the betyral instead of anything else, and the scene's before it, that I haven't finished writing yet but I plan too this week
3. The final scene on Flatt Earther Hill, to make it shorter, less cheasy, to make kevin less repivitly geuine and reasuirng and one note and delete some lines - make theiur goodbye sound less like lovers and more like brothers, to also make, Kevins goodbye gift just the flattearthers hill flag, and save the somng kevin wrote him as a reavl for after his death becuase Kevin never wrote music.
4. Make camlot scene shorter, say lester didnt buy so many of his own records, introducde some of trents freinds/maggie charchters in scene in eariler camlot scene I plan to add and others.
Make Lucy a bit of a bigger /charchter with her own agency, giver her more schenes lies/of being a badass/actully being a Punk like evryone says (show dont tell) change the way she dumps Kevin
Add CBGBS scene right after Trash and Vaudvile scene.
All of witch she liked and read before our workshop
She gave me some specific feedback on things to improve in those scenes, too
like in their sex scne have Lester After Rubin's done fucking him have more to say, about uit rigtt aftwards in his internal monolouge, , how he really feels is it all he hoped, sex drugs and rock n roll is it all its' cracked up to be, all and more.
I our next workshop in two weeks
Before that, she will read, the following Scenes at last:
1. My full battle of the bands climax after I fix it: (by rewriting rubins prefomance as stated above, moving Lester's band flopping scene after it so they end by flopping, deleting the trent talking down from the ledge scene and the Rubin beating up -See if she wansts to read the car ride scene leading up to it (delete /re-write/re contestixze the final breakdown lester has in the car with Kevin at teh end fo the night)
2. Have her read red hot chili pepers concert scene/Car ride scenes before/after
3. Tell her to after the fact if I reliaze she shoudl read any other scenes.
Im so siked!!! Im on a roll, with thease revisions, !!!
more updates soon
