Wish me luck
ive been feeling realy aimless, depressed, and off lately couldnt egte out of bed or get the motivatiotion to stay awake, ot do anything let alone writer but hopfully myt workshiop today will cheer me up.
Last week, they gave me feedback onmy sex scene to change it from being about cntrointing Rubin about chetaing on Kevins havard test and telling Lester rubin had feeligs for him outside of just sex to juts the Romance/Playing into Lestrs one sided criush angle and to drop the havrad subplot alltogethr beucase it just didint work, replacing it with a subplot where Rubin is using Lester (leading him on romanticly) to steal his new song/leather esthtic to win the battle of the bands wicth he does/as the ulmmite rock n roll beytral. Also more effectivly tieing in the battle fo the bands sublot.
This week she read the first chapeter and was leaving comments on chapter one as well (not the rpolouge witch needs no change as of now)
My plan for next few weeks is to make all changes based on her advice, and changes to the outline, things to cgange and cut, thus when the semster/her workshops ends
and all changes were made I plan to send her, and Corrine the full manuscript asking if it reads better and is in her opnion, fit to be submitted to literary agents (maybe even recomed to some)
ideally get it down to 400 words by then, instead of the current hevaty 600
have some of book two written as I have planned
More of my illretatrions replaced and done up
have it be fully edited/copy edited/developemntally edited in this workshop by the end of june
start submitting it to publishers start july
as well as, actully finish my book (have my mom read it front to back)
get it published by the end of 2024 -
Thats my plan and its thje only thing keeping me going to be honnest
School, any idea of getting or keeping a job right now, freinds, life anhything going on its all so painfully dull right now , I know things might get more intresting and I have to do whatver but seeing the point is becoming impossibly...dull, no reward, all my years of suffering and hard work...for nothig so much sucking of hard work, for nothing in life right now and maybe hthats the life of an aristis I know this, Ive known this there would be grey days gloomy hours, mental loss of perspective its inetile really its clelechie, but I cant loose sight despite it all despite my mid 20's anuie, I cant loose track
it will all be worth it when my book comes out every time I go Barnes noble with my writer friends it all makes sense really it all comes tother I see it so clearly...My book with its black metal cover on the New York Times bestsellers table just along all the others, being chosen with the NY elite all the kids who Read Kids by patti smith the old boomer and he tik tok kids who will read anything with gay characters or a period peace about the 80s or...anything with the right tropes, came flocking all the same, I would be there sighting books, with 80s hair and sunglasses dressed like Howard sturn having fun and smiling at everyone no matter how dumb their questions. I can see it now, grinning and smirking in the face of everyone who said I would never be an author, I was to dysthic, too mentally ill, too this too that, all those years, that I could accomplish anything real all on my own, its bullshit, thinking about it, even when I forgot /forget to be motivated - to think of my book on the bookshelf to think of my ideal future, of how happy I will be when I finally finish my book , how happy all my friends and family will be for me who were there for me who helped me who read my book all these years, who want my success -Just thinking about it is the only thing that keeps me going on thease dull, aimless febuaruary morns-espcially when everthubg else but my book in life seems to loose its zest .
But hey, today is my workshop I will write an update afteer on how it goes
Hopfully this week I wil write more based on my last two worksjhops in my actual draft not just in my outline but based on the outliue in the actual book to update it and make some more progeess overall lack of moviation /depression /school stuff/ be dammed.
ttyl
